Discover the Sound of GVH

1. Nobody Loves Me Tonight

2. I Can’t Pee

3. Grandma Moses

4. I Woke Up Gay

5. Wakefield Waltz

6. This Old Town

7. Circle

8. Bowling Song

All Songs written by Greg Van Houten except where noted. All rights reserved. 

Recorded at Akin Studios, Matt Scott Sound and Greg’s House.

© 2026 Pudgy Dutchman Records, 

Engineered by Matt Scott • Produced Matt Scott and GVH

Greg Van Houten 

GVH Vocals, Harmonica, Guitar

Hillary Chase - Vocals

Matt Scott - Bass, Guitar, Keyboard

Chad Brunet- Drums

She went away and left me all alone.

She’s got some plans, some plans of her own.

I’ll sit and stare out the window all night,

But nobody loves me tonight.

I should have known that someday we would part.

I could not hope to calm her restless heart.

My heart is broken, but I’ll be all right,

Just nobody loves me tonight.

The stars in the sky will shine like they do,

But just like our love those stars will die, too.

It’s hard to see stars when the Moon shines so bright,

And nobody loves me tonight.

It’s hard to see stars when the Moon shines so bright,

And nobody loves me tonight.

Lyrics Greg Van Houten -Music Toy Caldwell,

GVH Vocals , Guitar, Harmonica

Matt Scott -Bass, Guitar

I went to the office, they threw me a party

And told me I don’t work there anymore.

I still get up at Sunrise, but don’t put any pants on,

Unless I’m going to the doctor or out to the store

I’m a retiree, a retiree,

A charter member of double A R P.

A retiree, oh, they don’t need me,

Guess I’ll volunteer down at the library.

I watch a lot of news, now. It’s on all day.

Some good looking people with nothing to say.

They’re selling medications- for ills I never knew,

And if the pills should kill you they have lawyers that’ll sue.

And I can’t pee, no I can’t pee.

This swollen prostate will be the ruin of me.

I can’t pee, Oh Can’t you see?

A miracle breakthrough is what I need.

The kids bought me a cell phone. I don’t know how it works.

All I really want to do is- make a call.

They call it a ‘Smart device’, because it makes you feel stupid.

Ttrying to learn something you don’t need at all.

I need I.T., I need I.T.

This cyber bullshit means nothing to me.

I need I.T, oh please, help me.

I can’t use my telephone, or my TV.

I bought myself a condo, it’s right on a golf course.

I still like to play, but I can barely make nine.

I’ve got a little girlfriend, I met her at the clubhouse.

She’s had a lot of work done but really looks fine.

I got V.D., I got V.D.

From what that woman, been doing to me.

I got V.D., an S.T.D.

From who that woman did before me.

I’m a retiree, I got V.D., I need I.T.

I still can’t pee….

Greg Van Houten 

GVH Vocals , Guitar

Hillary Chase - Vocals

Matt Scott -Bass

Dustin DeLuke -Piano

She was born the year that Lincoln was elected

She saw Mantle and Maris trade home runs,

All the things we know and take for granted,

Anna Mary Moses watched it all get done.

In the Shenandoah Valley, or back in Eagle Bridge,

The beauty of the land was never lost,

On the farmer, the mother, the artist, the wife,

The landscape was shifting, and she knew there was a cost.

Come the age of automation the world she knew had changed

The preservationist inside her came alive.

Painting scenes of how life was in a fashion all her own,

So, the visions that she cherished would survive.

Her family still populates the valley.

Her images still hang from sea to sea.

Genuine and vivid were her memories,

Of America the way it used to be.

She left us in plain sight of one more Christmas,

A century and fifteen months since birth.

Fifteen hundred painted works she left behind,

To teach us what she treasured, in her time on Earth.

Grandma Moses captured our hearts with wisdom,

The way only a grandmother could do.

She proved the rules in art are made for breaking.

Anna Mary Moses was an artist through and through.

Our beloved Grandma Moses, left these gifts for you.

Greg Van Houten 

GVH - Vocals Harmonica, Guitar, Piano

Shannon Roy - Vocals

Matt Scott - Bass, Guitar

Johhny Stanton – Drums

I woke up gay again, today

I don’t know what else to say,

- why it causes such dismay,

and how it matters, anyway.

You know I’m not

the type to pray,

But I wish this all would wash away.

And everyone would be ok,

That I woke up gay again, today.

I’m only able to be me,

For what it’s worth I have to be.

My very credibility,

Is based in my own honesty.

Consider your humanity,

If you’re not who you claim to be?

How can you be truly free?

Can love be a reality?

I try to keep, above the fray,

Still, I wish there was a simple way,

For you to know that it’s ok,

I woke up gay again, today.

I woke up gay again, today.

I woke up me again, today.

Greg Van Houten 

GVH - Vocals Harmonica, Guitar

Matt Scott - Bass

Good night, Tim Wakefield,

I’m sad that you’re gone.

57 years doesn’t seem long enough

for a guy we enjoyed,

And cared about, too.

You old knuckleballer,

This one’s for you.

We’ve heard all the stories,

From your storied career.

How grateful we are that you ended up here.

With a wit and a style

that would make Yogi tear,

You brought home the bacon,

After 86 years.

Good night, Tim Wakefield,

We miss your bright star,

As it sails out of Fenway and into the dark.

But we’ll know that it’s yours,

When it comes into sight,

Like a knuckleball floating ‘cross the New England night.

Our knuckleball star,

Tim Wakefield, good night.

Greg Van Houten 

GVH - Vocals, Harmonica, Guitar

Matt Scott - Bass

I remember when I didn’t love you.

It doesn’t seem like all that long ago.

They say that you don’t miss what you never had.

I honestly can’t say that is so.

I remember when you didn’t love me.

It’s hard to think that that was ever true.

You were looking for your own place in the world.

I was ready for something new.

Tell me how in the world does the world go ‘round?

How did I find you in this old town?

And after all those years living without you,

Tell me what in the world would I do, now…

Without you?

I remember when you didn’t love me.

It seems like so long ago, now.

I still can’t say why loved me.

I guess I just got lucky, somehow.

Tell me how in the world does the world go ‘round?

How did I find you in this old town?

And after all those years living without you,

Tell me what in the world would I do, now,

Without you?

I remember when I didn’t love you…

Greg Van Houten 

GVH - Vocals , Guitar

Shannon Roy - Vocals

Matt Scott -Bass

You died in the war when I was just two.

I’ve only the albums to pick my way through.

When I was thirteen I found your guitar,

Stashed up in the attic where the old pictures are.

I brought it downstairs and showed it to mom.

She said you would play her those old country songs.

“On Saturday nights we’d sing on the porch,

Like Johnny and June, like Tammy and George.”

(We’d sing…)

A picture of me,

Still doin’ time,

Talkin’ ‘bout Jackson and walk-in’ the line,

Sipping’ Tennessee Whiskey,

And You’ll Be All Right.

You Are My Sunshine,

Then Cry—— Cry, Cry.

She took it and held it, then gave it a strum.

She said to me, boy, “Oh, now what have you done?

All of these memories that I’ve hid away,

It’s your guitar now, son. It’s your turn to play.”

All these years later I learned all those songs,

I wrote a few new ones, and mom sings along.

When I stand on this stage in the circle of wood,

I feel like I know you, and I wish that we could…

Sing A Picture of Me,

Still Doin’ Time,

Talk about Jackson and walk-in’ the line,

If Drinking’ Don’t Kill Me,

You’ll Be All Right.

You Are My Sunshine,

Then Cry—— Cry, Cry.

You Are My Sunshine…

Greg Van Houten 

GVH - Vocals , Guitar

Brooke Thomson Drew -PA Announcements

Hillary Chase - Vocals

Matt Scott - Bass, Guitar

Chad Brunet- Drums

My father taught me how to bowl

When I was just a kid.

We went bowling for our birthday parties,

That’s just what we did.

He taught me how to spin the ball,

To bend either way.

Every single Sunday,

We were first in line to play.

When I had a problem,

We’d bowl a couple games.

It gave us time to think,

And we would talk between the frames.

To him a tip in bowling,

And life were all the same.

He had a way of working out,

Your troubles on the lanes.

 He’d say…

Be ready when your turn comes up,

You always have a chance.

Never rush your timing,

Approach it like a dance.

Keep your goal in mind, son,

and focus on your spot.

Start out on your good foot,

Then give them your best shot.

Last week they tore the alley down,

Its time had come and gone.

The owner just retired,

And no one took it on.

I thought of all the hours,

We had spent inside those walls.

The rush I get when the pins reset,

And the roaring of the balls.

My dad’s been gone for years, now,

My kids no longer bowl.

I’d go down alone sometimes,

And give the ball a roll.

It’s never been the same, I guess,

Since he passed away.

But when I pass that empty lot,

I still can hear him say…

Be ready when your turn comes up,

You always have a chance.

Never rush your timing,

Approach it like a dance.

Keep your goal in mind, son,

and focus on your spot.

Start out on your good foot,

Then give them your best shot.

Always, start out on your good foot,

Then give them your best shot.

1.  Bennington, Vermont

2.  Danko

3.  Farmhouse In Provence

4.  First World Tragic Romance

5.  Forty-Four

6.  Gerte’s Waltz

7.  My Hernia

8.  Natural Treasure

9.  New You In Town

10. People Like Me

11. Refugee’s Lament

12. Substitute

13. Suburban Whitebread Blues

14. Sweet Little Sister-In-Law

15. Top Of The Mountain

16. The United States

17. Way Across Town

All Songs written by Greg Van Houten. All rights reserved. 

Recorded at Akin Studios, Bally's Atlantic City and Greg’s House.

© 2019 Pudgy Dutchman Records, 

Engineered and Produced by Sam Clement and Adam Turner

Greg Van Houten: Guitar,  Vocals,

    Harpsichord (Way Across Town), Violin (New You In Town)

The Akin Heart Band:

Sam Clement: Guitar, Bass, Vocals, Kazoo

Adam Turner: Percussion, Vocals, Kazoo

Chris Ivory: Hammond Organ, Piano

Hillary Chase: Vocals, Kazoo

Dave Lawlor: Mandolin

Eric Schatz: Harmonica

Krista Speroni: Accordian

Cindy Baxter: Vocals

Beq Lendvay: Trombone (The United States)

Michelle Marracco: Violin (Gerte's Waltz)

Matt Slocum: Banjo (My Hernia)

Bennington, Vermont is hard to describe

In three or four verses, but I’m going to try,

To tell you ‘bout a place that you ought to know.

If you haven’t been there then you ought to go.

For over two hundred and fifty years,

The heart of the Vermont has been right here,

From the Catamount Tavern to the Four Corners Clock,

From the Robert Frost Trail to the Putnam Block. 

Stand atop of our The Monument tall,

In any direction you take in all,

Of the beauty of this magnificent land.

If divided we fall, then united we stand!

Television says the economy's dead,

In Bennington, Vermont we’re moving ahead.

If you want to succeed then you've got to believe,

In Bennington. Vermont you’ll see what I mean.

Our industry’s growing and people are stoked,

The Downtown is jumping and that’s no joke.

I’m beating the drum and drinking the Kool Aid.

We’re Bennington, Vermont and we’re American made!

Bennington, Vermont

Bennington, Vermont

Be anything you want,

In Bennington, Vermont

When you see him in those pictures,

He looks like a little boy. 

He was known as much for his childish smile

As he was for his velvet voice.

His penchant for drugs and alcohol

Hardly made him unique in his day,

And he wasn’t the first,

And he won’t be the last,

To quietly slip away.

In his blue jeans and his T-shirt,

He was just a regular guy,

Trying to live an impossible life

With the spot light right in his eyes

They even gave it up for a while,

But it’s all they know how to do,

They’d lost some friends,

Then Richard was gone,

It’s not like he never knew.

Well I can’t say that I knew him.

The fact is we never had met,

But I saw once at Carnegie Hall

On a night I will never forget.

He was by himself, on the stage

Just his voice and his guitar

You stand alone with a microphone

You learn a lot about who you are

And it makes no difference where I turn

Or how far I roam

The music that he left behind

Is the best I’ve ever known.

When I was a boy I did what I was told
Most of the time,But that got old.
I don’t do what anyone says no more.
I call my own shots, now  'cause I’m forty-four.
I worked a job for a long, long time
Yes’n the boss man and towing the line.
I don’t have to punch that clock no more.
I work for myself ‘cause I’m forty-four.


I got married and I was no kid.
I knew what I wanted and I know what I did.
That marriage got all fucked up for sure.
I’m living alone, now, and I’m forty-four.

I had a house, I liked a lot.
Full of all kinds of nice stuff we got.
That stuff’s in the house and I’m out the door,
I’ve got posters on the wall and I’m forty-four.

I look around and I’ve got lots of friends,
But none of them have much time to spend.
They’re busy with kids or doing their chores,
I play lots of golf ‘cause I’m forty-four.

I try to budget and pay all my bills,
But I get so bored it would give you the chills.
So I bought enough shit to put the Who on tour,
I’ve got nine guitars and I’m forty-four.
I’ve got nine guitars and I might buy some more.

The moths crowd the light on a warm Catskill night,

As I pull the latch on the door.

My Gerte’s asleep, so softly I creep,

Like ten thousand nights before.

I check the TV and they’re telling me,

The economy’s not doing great.

We haven’t made scratch here since seventy-nine,

What do we know of two thousand, eight?

Last summer the storm took the bridge out,

The winter passed with no snow.

We’ve been in arrears for thirty-five years,

Where the Hell else are we going to go?

Back in the day the orchestra played,

Our guests would pour down the stairs.

Gerte would stand right next to the band,

The music would fill her like air.

Sometimes I catch her at cleaning,

She’ll step back and twirl right around.

I know every song she is dreaming, 

But I watch her and don’t make a sound.

I crawl into bed, kiss my Gerte on the head,

And settle back in for the night.

Bless this old girl, she’s been my whole world,

She tells me it will be all right.

I try not to think of the future, 

Of what will be left for our son.

Gerte will wake us at daybreak, 

And remind us there’s work to be done

Just above my Willie, I found a little lump.

It sticks out when I pick things up and when I take a dump. 

I showed it to my doctor, he shouted out with glee,

“You’ve got yourself a hernia, it’s off to surgery!”

He sent me to a surgeon to get another take. 

He put his hand up to his chin and gave his head a shake.

He said, “I’ll have to operate.” ‘Cause that’s what surgeons do.

“And when I fix your hernia, you’ll be as good as new.”

Now, hernia’s are something that lots of people get,

They come from heavy lifting and sometimes crazy sex. 

It can start when you’re an infant unbeknownst to you,

Something makes the small intestine tear it's way right through.

“We’ll go in at the navel, and through the stomach wall. 

My tiny little endoscope will televise it all.

We'll wind through the intestines and come in from behind. 

With Kevlar and Titanium, your hernia I’ll bind.” 

In three weeks time I’ll be back, dancing on my toes. 

That patch will still be holding when I start to decompose.

I'm so happy I've got Kevlar sewn inside my guts,

Just in case I ever take a bullet in the ...

Hernia’s are something that lots of people get,

They come from heavy lifting and sometimes crazy sex. 

It’s starts when you’re an infant unbeknownst to you,

Something makes the small intestine tear it's way right through.

When I tell you she’s beautiful, I’m just getting started. 

She’s a natural treasure, placed in my care.

Like any great gift, that’s been put here by angels.

Take her for granted she’ll be gone like thin air.

Like a ribbon of water that shimmers in Moon light,

Like the snow on a glacier, or the grass on the dunes,

Like a mountain top tree line across a red Sunset,

She’s a firefly hatch in the middle of June. 

Try, try, try as I may, 

I cannot explain 

What brought her my way. 

I am clear, clear, clear in my part; 

Love and  protect her, 

With all of my heart. 

Her laugh is the rain on a parched western wheat field,

Her smile brings summer to the frozen north face.

Her eyes hold the hope of a new generation,

And the world is at peace when I’m in her embrace.

She walks through the door like the Sun through a rainstorm.

She speaks to my soul like a bird on the wing.

She eases my mind like a wind on the prairie.

Her touch is the dew on the first rose of spring.

Try, try, try as I may,

I cannot explain 

What brought her my way.

I am clear, clear, clear in my part;

Love and  protect her,

With all of my heart. 

When I tell you she’s beautiful, I’m just getting started…

‘You’ were the one

Who left my life a shamble.

You were the one who took me down. 

You were the only one I ever talked about,

But lately, there’s a new you in town. 

‘You’ was the word

I used to name my pain.

You were the one who could make me go insane.

You had a way to turn a smile into a frown.

But lately, there’s a new you in town.

‘You’ has a meaning

That’s different to me now.

You are the one who came to show me how.

You give me purpose

Like a circus does a clown.

Lately, there’s a new you in town.

Finally, there’s a new you in town.

There are people in the world who are happy,

The have someone who loves them, you see.

There are people in the world who are lonely,

Yes, there are lots of people like me.

Once, I knew what it meant to be happy.

I had a love I could call my own.

I will never forget that mournful day,

When I found my love was gone.

There are people in the world who are happy,

The have someone who loves them, you see.

There are people who will spend all their natural born days,

Dying in this misery.

If you have somebody who loves you,

And you know that you love them, too,

Then take heed of all of these things that I say,

Don’t let your true love slip away.

There are people in the world who are happy,

The have someone who loves them, you see.

There are people who took love for granted,

Yes, there are lots of people like me.

You say you all just crawled, Half way around the world,

With your wife and son, and your little baby girl.

You’ve only the clothes your wear, some old photographs,

A crumpled up PhD, and your memories.

What do you want from us? A chance for a better day?

That may seem easy here? Well, it’s not that way.

The rich folks robbed us, about ten years ago.

It makes this freedom thing, a little tough, you know.

It’s damn near impossible, just to stay afloat.

Then big pharma drugged us, and that was all she wrote.

Our roads are crumbling, our schools a mess.

Our country is broken, I must confess.

Your eyes are focused. Your will still strong.

Are you not listening, to what is wrong?

You call this ‘Paradise.’ You won’t turn back.

Perhaps your spirit, is what we lack.

There is a power, I can’t deny.

Hell, we were born here. We didn’t have to try.

You say you all just crawled, Half way around the world.

Just to save your boy, and your little girl…

There’s a substitute for coffee, There’s a substitute for tea,

But there is just no substitute for what you do to me.

They’ve got a substitute for everything beneath the stars above,

But there is just no suitable - substitute for love.

They put a man up on the moon and brought him back, again,

But they can’t figure what it is that women do to men,

They’ve got a substitute for gasoline and a substitute for oil,

But not that thing that makes you want to flee your mortal coil.

Love can make you gamble, it can turn a man to drink.

It makes it hard to sleep at night. It makes it hard to think.

The minute that you fall in love you think your trouble’s done,

But try to find a substitute, and your trouble’s just begun.

There’s a substitute for Sunshine, there’s a substitute for rain.

They’ve even got machines now that can substitute your brain,

But when I’m on the edge, my friend, and just abut to crack,

She knows that there’s no substitute, and I’ll come crawling back.

Love can make you gamble, it can turn a man to drink.

It makes it hard to sleep at night, impossible to think.

The minute that you fall in love you think your trouble’s done,

But try to find a substitute, and your trouble’s just begun.

Love will make you walk the streets and stay out all night long.

It can make a man half crazy; curse the day that he was born.

Now, I don’t paint a pretty picture of what love has in store,

But I assure you there’s no substitute, and you’ll be back for more.

I was born in a hospital, raised by a stay at home mom.

I was born in a hospital, raised by a stay at home mom.

Every night at six o’clock, 

Right through the door walked Tom. (that’s my daddy) 

Every morning we would take the bus, ‘cross town to a private school.

Every morning we would take the bus, ‘cross town to a private school.

I guess I could have gone to public,

But mama wouldn't raise no fool.

We never had no sandbox, just a couple swings out back.

We never had no sandbox, just a couple swings out back.

We played little league and football,

My brother, he ran track. (we thought he was a sissy)

Every Summer was the same thing, we’d move up to the lake.

Every Summer was the same thing, we’d move up to the lake.

We'd go swimming and canoeing,

My sister’d lay in the Sun and bake. (bake it baby)

I was born in a hospital, raised by a stay at home mom.

I was born in a hospital, raised by a stay at home mom.

Every night at six o’clock, 

Right through the door came Tom. (Hello,daddy!) 

She's the prettiest thing this side of the Mississippi,

Crystal eyes, the likes you never saw,

If she didn't think I's a worthless bum

I'd have a better shot than some,

She's my sweet, sweet, little sister in law.

I already know an awful lot about her,

The kind of things she likes and where she's from.

I'm pretty good friends with her brother,

Her mother and her sister and her pa,

She's my sweet, sweet, sweet little sister-in-law.

She's got qualities you might not see the first time, 

And other things that stick out right away,

To know her you can't hardly help but love her,

So it's natural for a man to feel this way.

Now some folks might be just a bit offended,

That I would bring this subject up at all.

But it's okay, I've done some reading,

It's not incest it's just cheating.

She's my sweet, sweet, sweet little sister-in-law.

She's my sweet, sweet, sweet little sister-in-law.

Heck, if we were in Utah, I could have married them all!

I have been to the top of the mountain,

I have seen all there is to be seen

I have stood at the top of the mountain

And the view is quite hard to believe.

When you stand at the top of the mountain,

And you take in the world from afar,

You can see from the top of the mountain

How close to each other we are.

The grass from the top of the mountain,

Is green no matter which way you look,

And the air at the top of the mountain,

Is as sweet as the first breath you took.

There’s no war at the top of the mountain,

And you can’t see the color of skin, 

For the light at the top of the mountain

Is a light that burns from within.

There’s a God at the top of the mountain,

But he wears no colors or sword.

And he speaks from the top of the mountain,

And love rings in his every word.

I have been to the top of the mountain,

I have seen all there is to be seen

I have stood at the top of the mountain

And I hope you will walk there with me.  

She sleeps all alone  

At a dock in Old Philadelphia. 

Waiting for someone to strike up the band,  

Fill the dance floor, 

And light up the grand chandelier. 

Her rusty old stacks 

Still bare the paint, from the days when she sailed the great seas.

Across her broad stern, 

Emblazoned in white,

Her name still inspiring to read. 

She is the S. S. United States, 

The pride of the American Fleet. 

She traversed the Atlantic 800 times, 

With elegance, grandeur and speed. 

She is the S. S. United States,

Trying to find her way home.

Forty years dodging the scrap dealer’s torch,

Awaiting a verdict unknown.

Casting her shadow 

On crusty old ships under a maudlin sky,

A page of our history,

Yearns to be saved,

More threatened as time passes by.

Refugees and Nobles, 

Graced her decks and staterooms alike.

She delivered them all, 

At Blue Ribband pace,

In safety by day and by night. 

And now, time begs the question, 

‘Do we watch as she just drifts away?’ 

When tomorrow dawns and the great ship is gone, 

Will we pang that she should have been saved?  

She is the S. S. United States,

The pride of the American Fleet.

She traversed the Atlantic 800 times,

With elegance, grandeur and speed.

She is the S. S. United States,

A lady in waiting it’s said.

In the gleaming of twighlight, on waters uncertain,

Her greatest feat still ahead.  

I’m four years old,

And I don’t know diddly squat,

But I know my family,

Is about all I’ve got.

I don’t know why,

I live with my mom,

And my dad,

Lives by himself,

In a house,

That’s way across town.

Way across town,

I go there weekends,

Way across town,

They’re hardly speaking.

When they leave me,

I have to kiss them,

But they don’t kiss each other, anymore.

My dad’s new friend,

I guess she’s OK.

She buys me stuff,

Like on my birthday.

I told my mom,

I think she’d like her,

But she’s never at my dad’s,

When mom comes around.

Way across town,

I go there weekends,

Way across town,

They’re hardly speaking.

When they leave me,

I have to kiss them,

But they don’t kiss each other, anymore

No, they don’t kiss each other,

Way Across town,